Broken Glass

A few weeks back I took a metro home which had as its destination "Unknown". I thought it very apt since I absolutely had no clue where I was heading. How disappointed I was to find out that "Unknown" is close to where I live; just 2 KM South to my temporary abode. A rude awakening - so to speak.

Yes, a few weeks back I had a blind date, or to be exact: an appointment to go on a blind date. I did not go. I did not feel like it, at any rate. The thought of having to spend time with a person I do not know that well, and having to entertain him by being pleasant and amiable, and having to laugh at his mediocre jokes, and having to show interest in his personal life/hobbies/interests/etc. when in effect I could not give a horse's rear-end made me reconsider seriously. Besides these small drawbacks that showed themselves when I was heading to "Unknown" I was terribly tired, and not in the mood for company.

Yesterday I met a friend I hadn't seen since October 2006 (it was on his Birthday); he broke up with his girlfriend. They were together for five years and have a son. I was saddened when he told me; I had got into my mind that they would remain an item till the end of time, but unfortunately life got in the way. Life has a way of throwing its weight around like that thwarting our designs. At any rate, we talked about the past, and about the future, about friendships/relationships. I thought about my own fancies at the moment.

At this point in time I do not crave company. I find it taxing. On the one hand I'd love to have a relationship, and be square. On the other I simply don't. Conflicting desires.

Ah, well.