Hormonally Yours...

I came across this flourish-slash-interesting-twist to the written formula with which one can end a letter on someone's Myspace page, and it made me smile. I thought it an adroit title for this specific entry, since this is all about my hormonal state and how my hormones seem to designate importance/significance to the individuals that happen to enter my life haphazardly. To try to explain why one is attracted to some and repulsed by others is as useful an activity as rolling a boulder uphill then watching it roll back down. It's a matter of taste, of aesthetics, of conditioning. It has very little to do with active decision-making. Basically, it's just a question of your particular hormonal state. Of course, I'm talking about the initial attraction; by which I mean the feeling you get deep down in your abdomen when your eyes happen to catch sight of a potential partner, and his/her eyes reflect the spark - like a mirror - that has lit up your eye. The second attraction, at least in my experience, happens, or not, when you actually strike up a conversation - if sparks then fly, too, I'm yours, or you're mine... whichever you like.

A few weeks back my eye happened to catch sight of a guy whom it found - in collusion with my hormones - attractive (tall, well-built, redhead). I managed to introduce myself, and even though my mind revolted against the little dance of words (which proved a dance macabre) that was taking place between us (my mind, I must confess, was signalling loudly that it found the guy tedious) I was happily rubbing myself against him, and getting more & more excited, which - of course - the guy noticed. His attention had been thitherto all over the place - perhaps, he was shy I kept telling myself, trying to drown the lament my mind was crying out - but once he felt my manhood pressing against his well-developed thigh he was able to focus his attention on me. However, the more words came out of his mouth, the more bored I got. But, still no response from my hormones... they were cheerfully champing down the piece of man meat that got them salivating. At a certain point the guy said that he was going to look for his friend since they were there together and he wanted to check on him. It was sweet that he is such an attentive friend. Once he disappeared out of sight my mind augmented its cry seeing it saw the coast clear; it knew that once the source that drove my hormones was out of sight it stood a good chance to convince my legs to move in the opposite direction of the object of my lust, which was what happened. I went to collect my coat & I exited the building, leaving the guy probably wondering where I was and why he wasn't going to get any nookie since everything was going *so* well.

Well, this time it's the other way round. This time my hormones didn't even get the sweet taste of initial attraction. My mind has bypassed all that. I have gone straight to second attraction, forcing my hormones to follow suit... and even though hormones are strong, the mind is far stronger. It can be demoniacally persuasive. How can I miss talking to someone whom I've never met?