Je veux te voir

This is a very funny, very vulgar song by Yelle. She's some or other girl who has it in for some or other ginger-haired guy named Cuizinier (I believe he's a rapper of some kind). I laughed heartily since this is belly-shakingly hilarious. Enjoy.

Cuizinier avec ton petit sexe entoure de poils roux
Je n’arrive pas a croire que tu puisses croire qu’on veuille de toi
Je n’y crois pas meme dans le noir, meme si tu gardes ton pyjama
Meme si tu gardes ton peignoir, en forme de tee-shirt ringard
Garde ta chemise ca limitera les degats batard

Je veux te voir
Dans un film pornographique
En action avec ta bite
Forme patatoes ou bien frites
Pour tout savoir
Sur ton anatomie
Sur ton cousin Teki
Et vos accessoires fetiches

Cuizi c’est quoi
Ta position favorite
Tes performances olympiques
Mais tu n’as rien d’orgasmique
Tu es tout nu
Sous ton tablier
Pret a degainer
Mais je t’avoue rien n’y fait

Tu reves d’un Hummer fluo
Dessinee par Akroe
Mais tu n’as pas le permis
Tu prends toujours le metro

Superstar d’un soir ta vie redevient normale apres
Pas besoin de lunettes noires pour te cacher personne te reconnait
Ta carte verte t’attend mec
C’est pas des paroles en l’air
J’ai reussi à t’en faire
Une avec mon scanner
L’entree est gratuite ce soir
C’est le seul moyen pour qu’on vienne
Alors les filles on se promene
Ouais on va aux chippendales
On avait pas prevu de passer la soirée avec des rigolos
On voulait voir des pectoraux, des mecs montés comme des taureaux

Tes posters de Lil’Jon recouvrent ceux de Magic Jonhson
Ton corps est trop crunk pour assurer les dunks

Cuiziner c’est toi que je veux voir
Que je veux voir ce soir
Te faire ridiculiser par une fille qui rappe mieux que toi
J’ai pas assez de mes 10 doigts pour les compter dans la salle
Toutes ces filles coiffees comme moi qui savent ce que tu vaux a poil

Silly Broken Hearts Poetry

Oh, silly boy
Foolish lover
Defending your
Man's honour
Can't you see
He loves you not?
His heart belongs
To another.
And on your heart
Will be inscribed:
"I fell in love,
He just lied."

Random Thoughts: TV, Trust, and a new beau on the horizon

I do not watch TV. This is not some hip rebellious statement; I actually do not watch TV. I watch TV series - I must confess - albeit on DVD. Nowadays I find it strange that people spend hours on end in front of the Telly. I used to be a TV addict back in the 80s. TV was my drug of choice; I had very little else to numb the pain of my pre-teen hardcore lifestyle of kindergarten & sticks-and-stones harassment at school interchanged with the emotionally crippled parents' TLC at home. Besides the hard drug TV I experimented with the soft drug Books. I alternated between the two. Shooting up TV in the morning, and inhaling some powerful words in the afternoon before heading to bed. I solely watched cartoons. I believe I watched *all* the cartoons that aired during the 80s & early 90s. It was my first encounter with the English language; no subtitles meant either quickly getting with the programme, or letting the programme be and use your imagination to fill in the vast blanks. Funnily enough during the 80s all villains spoke some sort of archaic English. Soit.

I was heading somewhere with this entry, but I forget. I tend to be forgetful a lot these days. Perhaps it's because there's so very little going on in my actual life. I've decided that I should dislike my colleagues simply because they are nitwits, and deserve my scorn. Moreover they gossip incessantly & indiscriminately about everyone who's working for our company. I've already let know that I do not want to participate in this game of Chinese whispers, but it seems that they do not take heed of words that do not come in the shade of scandal. Alas. At any rate, I've decided I should dislike the bulk of the lot (i.e. only the fatties... har har har)

Oh, trust. I have been thinking about trust. It's such a flimsy concept. Trust. "I trust you'll do such and such correctly." There is little else you can do but rely intently on the other person's integrity, and ability. However confident you are chances are still great that the person in question will let you down hard. Nevertheless without that flimsy concept 'trust' it's quite difficult to establish meaningful, and intimate relationships with people. It's a slippery slope.
Nowadays I don't have expectations concerning people - hence my liberal interpretation of trust: I have no confident expectation of their meeting the standard of behaviour that I esteem. People rarely do what you expect them to do (and by this I mean: what you want them to do - in the usual order of things you can predict someone's behaviour based on her/his modus operandi, but that's not what I mean in this scenario, or any other scenario in which humans who are emotionally tied together must interact). I just voice my wish, if they take heed: great. If not: ah well, better luck next time. Of course I experience some form of frustration when they do not grant me my wish, but it never sticks. I simply resolve to let it go; put them on ignore. When my words take I acknowledge their trustworthiness, which doesn't mean I trust them; it just means that I recognize the fact that they have shown in this particular instance empathy. They are in effect paving the road to that elusive shrine of Trust. (I feel I'm getting too wordy again...)

Whatever.

I think I like someone. My feelings for him go beyond mere friendly, which is vexing since they do not have a release. I also do not know whether this person likes me back, which is even more vexing. Every time I resolve to make my feelings known some sort of fated incident takes place that thwarts my noble intentions. One would think - based on this - that it is not meant to be. But seeing my relationship with the Fates has always been capricious & playful I fashion this their way of showing me that they care. In the meantime I'm grinding my passion into dust.

Cough, cough.

This Year's Man

This morning I had one of those strange dreams in which you know you're dreaming about something you were thinking about before you went to bed, or when you were walking home. It's one of those "Hey, I had just thought about that a while ago" moments. This morning I dreamt about having a child; not my having a child myself, as in actually giving birth, but about my being a dad. I had a clear picture of the child's mother, and her face is the only thing I can think of at the moment, which is very confusing. I know I have seen her before, but I do not remember where... Talk about vexing! It's not like I'm in desperate search for my 'baby momma'; I'm just curious to know: why her?

Humanity at Large

Whoever claimed that life gets easier once one has aged beyond one's teenage years, or has matured, was very misleading; it is one of the fraudulent statements that has entered our parlance, and made itself feel quite at home in the hall of fame of cliches. Well, life does not get easier instead life loses its originality, its ingenuity, and occurences that once stirred your emotions lose their impact by the tedium of repetition. Life gently herds us to tranquil pastures where we munch on old chestnuts with a blasé air, or something. I can understand how one can confuse tedium with a state of comfort; tedium is always conducive to ease, if only in a deluding way. At any rate, my life keeps getting more complicated as days pass. I simply have to wake up, and breathe. No other actions need be undertaken.

So, I'm reading on technology and how it affects humans / our conceptions of humanity. I have started - of course - by examining what makes us human - as distinctive to 'animals' - to begin with. Naturally my reading started with morality. Our desire for conformity to the rules of - what is generally quite arbitrary, and highly subject to change - right conduct is astonishing; we are willing to sacrifice a whole lot to just be accepted. Morality is a funny concept, especially when viewed in relation to our equally strong desire to be independent individuals. We spent most of our teenage years asserting our individuality whilst trying to brave the storm of peer pressure only to succumb to it in later years. I see it happening all around me at work. Most colleagues are enticed to join the whispering choir by the leading rumor-mongers, and then heartily partake in Chinese whispers about anything & everything. Is this right conduct? I do not know; judging by the standard I should think it is, however all this murmuring is not conducive to comfort, nor a genial work space. No matter how great the tedium it engenders.

My love life is troublesome; not in the least because of my laborious efforts to get a date, but because of my whimsical taste in men. I seem to fall for men who are the mirror image of me; this is the source of many a stormy relationship, but I'd rather a gentle breeze than a passionate storm. You can attribute it to age. As I get older, and consequently wiser, or I should say 'fitted', my desire for genial relationships grows ardent. It must be because of the slowing of my metabolism. At any rate, I should find a way to adjust my taste to suit my mood. I have always had a terrible time adjusting my palate to a change in diet... Ah well.

Beauty

My philosophy in life is to live as though there's no to-morrow. One can only imagine the disappointment I experience time and time again - at least, up till now - when I wake up to the fact that yet another dawn has, well er, dawned on us. I comfort myself with the thought that the recurring of dawn satisfies an innate human desire for structure & predictability, and that my disappointment in that light viewed should not weigh so heavily as to make me want to slit my wrists, or do something equally foolish. I have been accused of being suicidal in the not-so-distant past, perhaps it's sensible not to joke about such a serious matter lest that person should read this and put two and two together.

At any rate, life is like a fluffy cloud, and I'm like a hydrogen molecule floating upward toward the sun. I have actually never felt better. I suspect it's because I've gained a new appreciation for "the real world". I have spent a considerable time living, breathing, thinking in a virtual world. A world of books, and ether. A few weeks back my eyes suddenly opened themselves and I saw life smiling at me, and waving me hello enthusiastically. I could no longer neglect it.

So, I'm taking life out for dinner; to say thanks. I wish I knew what could allay its appetite.

Broken Glass

A few weeks back I took a metro home which had as its destination "Unknown". I thought it very apt since I absolutely had no clue where I was heading. How disappointed I was to find out that "Unknown" is close to where I live; just 2 KM South to my temporary abode. A rude awakening - so to speak.

Yes, a few weeks back I had a blind date, or to be exact: an appointment to go on a blind date. I did not go. I did not feel like it, at any rate. The thought of having to spend time with a person I do not know that well, and having to entertain him by being pleasant and amiable, and having to laugh at his mediocre jokes, and having to show interest in his personal life/hobbies/interests/etc. when in effect I could not give a horse's rear-end made me reconsider seriously. Besides these small drawbacks that showed themselves when I was heading to "Unknown" I was terribly tired, and not in the mood for company.

Yesterday I met a friend I hadn't seen since October 2006 (it was on his Birthday); he broke up with his girlfriend. They were together for five years and have a son. I was saddened when he told me; I had got into my mind that they would remain an item till the end of time, but unfortunately life got in the way. Life has a way of throwing its weight around like that thwarting our designs. At any rate, we talked about the past, and about the future, about friendships/relationships. I thought about my own fancies at the moment.

At this point in time I do not crave company. I find it taxing. On the one hand I'd love to have a relationship, and be square. On the other I simply don't. Conflicting desires.

Ah, well.